Thursday, August 2, 2012

Early Onset Post-Departum Depression

With only a few days left before we head back to California, it's time to reflect on our 25-month-long, Rome-based Grand Tour, summarize some of the highlights, recount the low, and share a few observations that might perhaps help others considering such a move.

Our room with a view from apartment #2.
In sum, the experience was incredible and we anticipate it will have a profound impact on all our lives. Yet, our adventure didn't disprove the adage that Italy is a land of extremes in that "the highs" were indeed dizzying and "the lows" rage-inducing, but we have no regrets (except perhaps the experience of contracting and battling headlice in our Trastevere rental soon after our arrival).

Rome is where a dreamy present meets the granite past -- as someone in a velvet waistcoat with high collar and inlaid walking stick most likely noted (while headlice-free) long before me. It's also where the gelato induces paroxysms of pleasure, the light at sunset really is as stunningly beautiful as everyone says and there's no parking -- unless you're a native and consider the sidewalk to be an option.
  • What I anticipate I'll miss most - Tutti nostri amici, the American Academy in Rome, the view of the Villa Aurelia from our bedroom window, the amazing lunches prepared by Giovanni and many others at the Rome Sustainable Food Project, Mozzarella di Bufala so fresh it squeaks between your teeth, the ubiquity of great espresso, the outdoor concerts, jogging in the Villa Pamphili, the seasonal palette of produce at the outdoor markets, cat ladies, opera as an integral part of the elementary school curriculum, walking 8 minutes down the stairs to the centro storico, prosecco toasts in the Bass Garden, yoghurt gelato at Miami Gelateria, the breezes on the Gianicolo, fresh truffles grated over pasta at tableside, the absence of saggy pants, watching murmurations of starlings from our terrace in the autumn and the frenetic flight of parrots year-round, walking everywhere, public transportation, not needing a car to travel out of town, cheap cell phones, communal living.
  • What I'll miss least - Roman drivers bearing down on me and the kids in crosswalks, the wildly fluctuating temperatures of Italian showers, the ubiquity of smokers, the disappointing pastries (generally look much better than they taste), the prospect of having to obtain anything official, pick-pockets, the acceptability of littering, the oppressively hot summer scirocco, waiting 30 minutes for the #75 bus, communal living.
No doubt the preponderance of positives will prevail in my memory and bring us back again for more. In the meantime, if provoked to a bout with Post-Departum Depression, I'll just ask the kids to brighten things up by singing a few arias from Don Giovanni

We have a lot to look forward to and I'm encouraged by the prospect of starting a new chapter of our lives that involves breaking bread with old friends again, hosting new friends around our table, getting my hands back in our garden and rejoining the community. Even more importantly, the kids will be attending a new school later this month -- and when class is in session I'll have the kittens I promised them all to myself.

Arrivederci Roma!
Romance and poetry, ivy, lichens, and wall-flowers need ruin to make them grow.
     -from Hawthorne's Preface to The Marble Faun

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Surviving Summer with Kids: Rome Edition


The prospect of spending summer in Rome can be ominous enough even without kids in tow. If you don’t have regular access to a country estate with northerly breezes, don’t have the financial wherewithal to spend the duration at seaside/in the Alps, and are generally wondering what to do with your charges all day when the Caput Mundi is at its hottest, the following suggestions just might help you keep your cool and get through the long slog before school starts again in September.

General Recommendations
Go early: If you plan on taking in any outdoor tourist sites, complete your outing before it gets unbearably hot (before 11:30).

Embrace the siesta: Avoid the heat at its wilting worst (between 11:30-16:30) by following your leisurely lunch with a long nap. Then stay up late by taking passegiata through the center.

In case of emergency: Stop frequently at gelaterias for a refreshing treat – the promise of a cono piccolo can get you through most trying moments with your flagging bambini. If the heat becomes overwhelming and you are out of range of frozen incentives, take refuge in one of Rome’s more than 900 churches to cool off. If they still persist in whining, point out the skulls and crossbones inset in the floor and remind them that a vengeful God is always watching. If that fails to impress and you have a long bus ride ahead, promise them they can watch a DVD and eat popsicles in their underwear once you get back home.

Suggestions for maintaining sanity outdoors:
  • Stop frequently at Rome’s many nasoni drinking fountains and apply liberally;
  • Take water pistols (However, be sure to instruct the kids to resist the temptation to refill with holy water at any aforementioned chiesas);
  • Get a 10 euro inflatable pool at a corner store and set up in your cortile to create an after-lunch diversion.
Suggestions for maintaining sanity when trapped indoors (without relying on screens):
  • Stock up on arts and crafts supplies, puzzles, games, and cards; 
  • Establish a regular reading hour together;
  • Make fruit juice popsicles.
Some Sites/Activities Popular with Kids
  • Vittorio Emmanuele Monument – Ride the elevator to the top for a superlative view.
  • Castel Sant’Angelo – Hadrian’s Tomb-cum-Papal fortification replete with historic relics and armaments and offering a restorative cafĂ© and another stupendous panorama.
  • Catacombs– Naturally air conditioned and spooky, plus literal historical immersion.
  • Santa Maria della Concezione dei Cappuccini – More bone-chilling fun for the whole family.
  • Cat sanctuary at Largo Argentina – A perfect pilgrimage for felinophiles. Open every day from 12-18:00 with gift shop proceeds benefitting rescue/adoption efforts.
  • Pantheon– One of the world’s oldest and most awe-inspiring buildings, it rarely fails to impress even the most sullen of teens. A good 10 degrees cooler inside and surrounded by some of the city’s most prized artisanal gelaterias.
  • Hop-On/Hop-Off double-decker busses – Generally depart every 20 minutes along a set route focused on historic landmarks in the center and offer a 24- or 48-hour ticket and headsets for English-language narration. Bring a hat and water if you sit up top.
  • Laboratori dei Musei – Most major museums offer a didactic component aimed at school-aged children (i.e. Chiostro Bramante, Scuderie del Quirinale, MAXXI, Musei di Villa Torlonia). Consult their websites for more information.
  • Subterranean excursions – In addition to exploring Rome’s many catacombs and church crypts to stay cool, the group Sotterranei di Roma offers underground outings to sites normally closed to the public (check their calendar of events for listings).
More Indoor Options
Heat-averse cognoscenti seek the solace of air conditioned museums, book stores, libraries and matinees. My kid-friendly picks include the Explora Kids Museum (with full bar for genitori and a great restaurant on site); Centrale Montemartini for impressive machinery and sculptures; Museo Civico di Zoologia; Musei della Civilta’ Romana and aquarium out by E.U.R.; 3D Rewind Rome (admittedly cheesy, but adequately educational); Teatro Verde and Teatro Vascello for live theatre in Italian; and English language cinemas for a matinee (showtimes available at www.wantedinrome.com).

Best Outdoor Targets
Parks – After tiring of the local playground, head to one of Rome’s larger urban refuges for fun in the shade, such as Villa Pamphili (with the popular Vivi Bistro serving organic lunches, dinners and softserv), Villa Borghese, Villa Sciarra, Villa Ada, Parco Appia Antica, and Bioparco Zoo. Many offer pony rides and puppet shows on weekends and evening concerts, like the Casa del Jazz.

Swimming pools – Check out local clubs and recreation facilities for open swim hours and hotels with pools for their non-guest day rates (often more reasonable mid-week).

Outside the City*
*I’m theme park-averse, but if you are made of stronger stuff, by all means head for Rainbow MagicLand, ZooMarine or Hydromania.

Summer Camps
Why not cut yourself a break and let someone else take on the responsibility of keeping your kids safe, stimulated, clean, fed, entertained, exercised and cool from 8:30-17:00 while you catch up on a backlog of laundry and email? There are a wide variety of camps emphasizing sports from swimming to horse riding and others focused on theatre and linguistic immersion. Most seem to accept both daily and weekly signups. Enquire at your community sports center or theater, or research options online for listings.

In bocca al lupo!

Monday, May 7, 2012

School or Scuola?


School or Scuola?
What to Do When Relocating to Rome with Kids

As an American mother of two and Rome resident since 2010, new and imminent arrivals often solicit my advice about local schools as they anxiously research educational options. While I don’t claim to be an authority on the subject, I can lay claim to a modicum of expertise based on my childrens’ age (7 and 6), our neighborhood (Gianicolo/Trastevere/Monteverde Vecchio), direct and indirect experience, anecdotal evidence and a statistically relevant amount of hearsay. So in the interests of helping bewildered, overwrought newcomers make the best decision for their family (and saving myself the trouble of copying/pasting/personalizing the same email over and over) I herewith offer my admittedly limited insights.

Among your considerations should be the age of your children and the length of your proposed stay as well as cost and convenience.

Our kids were just starting primary school when we arrived and instilling an appreciation of Italian was paramount to our 12-24 month relocation plan, so my husband and I were set on a scuola Italiana. Our quandary was whether to go public or private. Soon after initiating research, a general consensus emerged among both Italian and non-Italian parents we spoke with that, unfortunately, the public schools here no longer enjoy the stellar reputation they once enjoyed -- many in fact are so drained of funds that they can't even provide toilet paper in the restrooms. We ultimately chose the private route once learning that long wait lists were the rule at Rome’s best-regarded public schools and that a private Waldorf-inspired option was within walking distance that cost half as much as my son’s daycare in California. We also thought it would help ease their transition abroad since our daughter had attended a Waldorf kindergarten (and honestly, leaving their beloved tabby cat to start at a new school in a new language is one thing, but making them pack their own toilet paper each day is quite another).

Happily, Arcobaleno was the right choice: the teachers were super, our kids made friends quickly and they began speaking Italian confidently and embellishing their frequent outbursts with expressive hand gestures after only six months. Unfortunately, our Waldorfian paradise was forced to move across town over the summer so we were faced with a difficult decision: run the gauntlet of Roman traffic by driving to the school’s new far-flung, sidewalk-lacking location to double park twice daily or transfer to the local Catholic school 12 minutes away by foot and near my favorite no-name forno, a sprawling outdoor mercato and my go-to cheese guy. As Americans who relish our new pedestrian lifestyle and recoil at the thought of willingly raising our blood pressure four times daily by getting behind the wheel at rush hour, and as non-religious former Catholics forswearing religious education for our offspring early on, this wasn't an easy choice for us. Ultimately we opted for proximity over ideology and signed up at Istituto Sant’Ivo. It's more traditional than what our kids are used to in that they’re expected to sit longer and do more homework, but an acceptable tradeoff for the sake of our entire family’s well being and my sanity as their daily chaperone.

We’re satisfied with our decision, but I’m less thrilled that Italian teachers and parents across the board invariably pretend they didn’t hear you or look at you with a shocked, uncomfortable expression and their mouth hanging open like a cat assessing if something’s rancid when you suggest the possibility of volunteering in the classroom. On the plus side, our kids have the option to stay until 5 pm and are becoming acquainted with the theological underpinnings of the Western canon -- to the point that they now authoritatively fill in the more vivid/bloody details for us when we encounter cautionary frescoes on cultural forays. My chef husband most appreciates the fact that they get a three-course hot meal every day. For me, the icing is they’re actually learning the libretto from Mozart's Don Giovanni in preparation for a performance this spring. It’s been truly amazing to hear them singing my favorite opera in Italian at the dinner table and not something I could ever imagine them doing back in the U.S. (its theme about the exploits and ultimate fate of an unrepentant sex-addict aside). So amazing in fact that I’m almost considering softening my stance against the Church for its long rap-sheet of transgressions – almost. In somma, the school is well organized, the teachers are firm but loving, there’s only an occasional bloody crucifix in evidence, I have only seen lay-people on campus and music and athletics are available on site after school at a discount. A fine solution for those planning to stay a year or two.

Some other families here at the American Academy in Rome that were stranded by the Waldorf-inflected school with us last year decided to transfer to Ambrit, a highly regarded private international school where instruction is in English and more academically rigorous, there’s a door-to-door school bus, and annual tuition is on par with that of a private university back home. Kids love it and the field trips sound enviable (i.e. outings to Pompeii in 5th grade; to Venice in 8th), but parents consistently remark that the rubric of “the more you pay, the fewer number of days” applies when it comes to total class time. If you go this route and work outside the home, be sure to develop a deep roster of on-call babysitters.

We're moving back to California in August, but if we were staying any longer we'd most likely consider making the commute to Scuola Janua, one of Rome’s more traditional Waldorf-method schools slated to move out somewhere near E.U.R. Even though it's future location remains uncertain, the overall emphasis on art and music is right up our alley and a great way to learn/reinforce a language. Plus, the quality of baked goods at all those inevitable classmate parties promises to be above average given the pervasive philosophical preference for handmade over commercial. We also have Canadian friends who send their son there and really like it. 

The decision is of course a very personal one, but I would be confident that the younger the child the easier it will be for her/him to adjust to Italian school and pick up the language quickly. If anything, I think we parents often prove to be the less flexible ones. The memory of our summer vacation stands out as a case in point. We spent a week on an Austrian farm with some French- and German-speaking families, and thanks to the onsite trampoline and my son's Lego® collection, the kids soon found a way to communicate and became fast friends; we parents followed their lead and were thereafter sharing sausages, beer and hiking recommendations. By week’s end the kids were sad to leave, but we had standing invitations to Belgium and southern France and my son was actually speaking some German.

Reasons to Consider an Italian-language School:
  • Your kids are 8 years of age or younger;
  • You value multilingualism (your kids will pick up Italian rapidly and begin speaking and helping you argue with bureaucrats after only 6 months);
  • You will get to meet real Romans and have plenty of opportunities to improve your Italian;
  • You prefer that your bambini hum/sing opera arias before bed instead of “Little Rabbit Foo Foo” or anything by Hannah Montana;
  • More soccer/football than rugby;
  • If it doesn’t prove the right fit, you can always transfer.

Reasons to Consider an English-language School:
  • Your kids are 9 years of age or older;
  • Your kids will prepare for British system exams which commence in grade 5;
  • You will get to meet other English-speaking ex-pats who work at FAO, IFAD and the World Food Program;
  • If you’re American, you’d like to increase your child’s chances of picking up a plummy British accent;
  • More rugby than soccer/football;
  • You value computer literacy at a young age (and could really use help creating decent PowerPoint slides for your next presentation at work);
  • You're in Rome for less than a year, don’t speak Italian and aren’t planning to learn it beyond differentiating basic pasta shapes when eating out.
Reasons to Consider Public  v. Private School:
  • Your kids are used to supplying their own toilet paper;
  • Organic lunches are mandated by the state;
  • You will inevitably improve your Italian and encounter fewer English-speaking expats;
  • You want to experience Rome beyond the postcards and Woody Allen’s new movie;
  •  You already think your kids are too coddled and desire to “toughen them up” by experiencing an overcrowded/underfunded urban school;
  • You need first-hand anecdotes for the book you are currently researching on how state educational systems everywhere are in decline.


Bottom line: If you like the idea of your child becoming bilingual and increasing your own opportunities for meeting locals and speaking/learning Italian, choose an Italian school. You could always transfer to an English language institution if it doesn't work out. (In fact, many parents who send their kids to an English school from the start with the aim of facilitating adjustment to life abroad, find themselves regretting not having opted for Italian immersion.) Alternatively, if your children are older and/or well on their way to preparing for British/American system exams, an English-language international school might be the better course.